A Sheltered Life Chapter 7

VETERANS DAYNovember 11,2011. It's Veterans Day. But it's also a date that won't come about for another one hundred years. Spent most of the night int the dining room, again. It's the windows int the back half that call to me. Watching the skunk come up to the bottom panes, looking for food and attracted by the lights and shadows I think. Or maybe it's the moonlight. I know I'm attracted to the way the moon appears in the thick glass . Safety glass, bullet proof? Surely or why else have it to from ceiling to floor. It looks like the same stuff we transported while I was working at North American Van Lines. I've drawn these windows with it's night images reflected in them. Had to capture those reflections on paper the minute I saw them, especially the moon. You can see just one moon or three if you look at it just right. Fascinating stuff, images in reflection form. Illusions of the real thing or things. Also the same with sunrises. Catching a sunrise through the glass is breathtaking. I've seen the sunrise outside while walking, but from the glass in the dining room, AWESOME!! I must let Analy have the picture of the dining room, the one I titled 'Reflections". It's a pencil work but I'm quite pleased with it. We've shared and appreciation of Art so I think she'll like it. Besides, other than hanging over my bunk it's totally wasted. But I'm keeping 'The Three Moons.'I got a late start today but feel no guilt. What else do I have to do except heal. I never plan anything on Friday's anyway, just a little indulgence of my own. No classes, no meetings, no clinical visits, just walking, watching the sunrise and then whatever I fancy. This morning I took my time washing my hair and cleaning my bunk area while talking to Yuli. Her kids were at school so we were just hanging out. We even raced to the manager's office and back after getting a free bath sponge. It's good to laugh with others.Hmmmm, what's up with the ladders all over the place? There's Alejandro up in the ceiling. He jokingly tells one of the young mother's, Lafreda, that he's putting cameras in her room, at least I think he's joking. My twisted little humor causes me to say "I'm sure Bobbi Payne would love to get away with that." and we both laugh. That's when I pass the dining room and see one Luis, one emotionally disturbed kid I tell you, dancing on the tabletop in front of the TV while Zulinette Medina, his mother, holds court with her evil ignorant minions two rows over and as far away as she can get from herelder son (younger son is nowhere to be seen so I'm assuming she's tricked another new entry into "holding" him while she runs to the laundry room//smoking area hint hint cough cough). This particular woman is a nasty piece of business. Seven and a half months pregnant, short and huge with varicose veins, all because she is a lazy lazy lazy person. I did mention that she's lazy right. EMS and she are pretty much on a first names basis (I know, I'm gonna burn in hell for being mean and ugly lol).I also see Ms. Bobbi Payne there with Alejandro and another male staffer (seen this man painting walls and landscaping). She's pointing at eh camera in the dining room. Seems a new High Def camera needs to be installed. Wonder if that might be because of the late night kissing parties taking place back there. I believe that is more than one camera had already been in place that the teen pregnancy that occurred in the shelter between the seventeen year old girl and the fifteen year old boy may not have taken place, at least not in the shelter. I also believe that the two teens involved would have had less opportunities to threaten the other kids from ages four to eleven with bodily harm when they were caught kissing and then eventually doing the nasty. Oh well, better late than never but what a shame that it wasn't sooner.The reason I passed the dining room to begin with was to dispose of the lone diaper in the hall along with the bag of diapers left under the drinking fountain. Note, they were used diapers. Grossness. That's when I spotted Payne. That's also what made me giggle. Alejandro buffs hald the hallway the day before because we were expecting a visit from the Texas Young Lawyers Association. I hope they got my thank you card. Then he, Alejandro, leaves the buffer next to a door on the right side of the hall, just past the lockers where I notice about a cup full of Cheerios on the floor. Eating in the rooms is prohibited by the Residential Director!! Yeah, yeah. We all really obey that one, just some of us are tidy and some of us are not. Shortly after this 'visit' we get a House Meeting about communal house duties. Really, you can't just go to the list and see who isn't doing their duties? You can't just watch the camera feeds to see for yourselves who is lying and not doing shit. Really. We have to listen to some coached speech come out of the mouth of Ms. Michelle I'm so sexy I have to tattoo it ON MY CHEST along with other tattoos used to remind myself of just how special I am, about cleanliness and how roaches are nasty and get in your ears. She punches her kid in the face, wears clothes too too small for her, runs the halls blasting Rap out of her cellphone that she can't pay for all night and is a big lover of burning her toast, um hmmm! She also swallows a hand full of prescription medication and falls asleep (passes out) on her infant child while being unable to care for her other kids who are hungry but stuck in the room with her only because they can't reach the doorknob. I should also mention that she's pregnant too and short and plump and loud and selfish.Rumor has it that Ms. Payne offered her a trip to New York to get an apartment and her GED along with a five thousand dollar furniture allotment allotment and a one thousand dollar clothing allotment and is wanting her to become the shelters' poster child for turning a life around. Is it really a rumor if Ms. Michelle I'm so sexy is bragging about it to her 'FRIENDS' in the dining room while on her laptop during an XBOX live chat? Just saying. And why is it she and Zulinette are sitting around with laptops that Ms Z was so upset about earlier and couldn't wait to go run and tell on ANYBODY else who had one? Especially Ms Z or as I like to call her Ms Puerto Rico. I have to stop that because I know folks from there and they aren't anything like this piece of trash. Look at her standing there trying to distract Ms. Payne (not hard to do, just tell her you love her shoes) from her table dancing son by asking what the exceptions are for having a laptop in the shelter. And Ms. Payne coming back with the school or work based diatribe that she's no doubt practiced in front of the mirror most likely. The both of them the biggest fraudulent Human Beings in the place so it's no wonder they orbit about each other the way they do. Evil attracts evil in my estimation and it's definitely found a home at the shelter. But Zulinette sets my teeth on edge most days. Her first night there and she's all hysterical in the dining room with the lovely Ms Maria, a cancer fighter who just got her hair to grow back, crying about death threats to her grandma and how this friend was killed because he knew her and on and on and blah blah blah. All this in spanish which Ms Maria informs Ms Z that I speak un poco. She goes to state that these would be killers want a picture of her because they heard how beautiful she was and how she sent them six or seven pictures but only from the breast down. Okay!!! It was at that time that Ms. Katie in the manager's office stopped her wailing with "You sent them these pictures?". Well, of course Ms. Z realizes that the jig is up when Ms Maria tells her that Katie speaks fluent Spanish. By the time Katie hands her the NON EMERGENCY number to the San Anto. nio Police Department and leaves her sitting there with her mouth wide open both Maria and I are disgusted with the whole thing as well and at 4:45m and 5:15 am we take our leave of this demented cow and leave her with Ms. Brenda. Oh and the threatened abuelita lives where? That's right, in Puerto Rico. Of course the constant 'I'm so Beautiful" statements continue. She even stated that her cuteness is the reason she gets away with everything up in here and that she and her son run this place. This woman tells her elder son the she can't stand him and how she's tired of him and having to take care of him. Then she throws herself to the floor as much as possible all the while screaming about how her 24 pound son tripped her or pushed her down out of anger. This poor stuttering, lonely and desperate for attention little boy that no child in the shelter will have anything to do with because it means getting biten or scratched or punched. Es verdad!! I'm firmly in the belief that SHE IS THE ABUSER and her sons, both of them, are traumatized because of her. I think I mentioned all this before. If this cow picks a fight (and she will) she runs to the manager's office screaming that the other w and oman is about to make her have this baby and then smiles like the Mona Lisa when she follows the staffer down the hall to clear up her mess. These staffers are all hispanic because Ms. Katie has already figured this monster out and so has Ms CeeCee.Well, Ms. Payne is still in the dining room when I come in from tossing out nasty baby diapers. I head to my usual spot, the back half of the dining room with the really cool windows. My plan for the day is to write a little and work on the pictures of Trees, as well as a design for a pennant for the KNB but more on that later. Connie joins me and her five year old is with her. They're waiting for the Food Bank Representative. This woman is just wonderful and today she has a co-worker with her. They've headed back out because they've forgotten snacks for the little people but that doesn't take long. She and Connie are having a discussion about Spirituality while I draw pictures of Christmas trees with Connie's daughter. This woman is baffled when I state that discussions involving churches, chapels and religious denominations are strictly prohibited at the shelter. I also mention in passing that the flying of the American Flag is also apparently not allowed. Stranger and stranger this place is. That's about the time Ms. Katie approaches. It's as close to three in the afternoon as I can remember when I'm asked to follow her and guess where we end up, go on guess? That's right,same office in the front, the one from The INCIDENT. There I find Ms. Bobbi Payne and the uumpa luumpa as I call Ms. Veronica Morales. Ms. Katie tries to leave but Ms. Payne orders her to go get Ms. Analy Galvan, have to make it look official and all that. I notice a stack of papers in Ms. Payne's hands and think to myself that that's a lot of women getting sent off today. She sent one woman and her kids off during lunch for not bringing her hospital discharge papers back from Southwest. Really, it's not like the shelter, who is familiar with this particular hospital couldn't have called and verified any of that. This creature is chomping at the bit to get rid of folks before the holidays but mostly because the place is at overflow capacity. Ms. Payne informs me that she has received my one and only written complaint and that she is concerned for my stability and has referred me to the SALVATION ARMY HOPE CENTER effective immediately and that the cab was already on it's way. Silly silly me, I couldn't help but smile. But Analy looked crestfallen, Katie didn't appear happy either. Bobbi and Veronica both seemed to be in an awful rush to get rid of me. Hmmmm? On my way to the room I see Connie circling the doors of the dining room, waiting. I didn't have to break the news to her, she could see it on my face and she goes to get Mary Hall and they both stand outside my room watching me pack and taking down phone numbers and such. I call Seriah and she says that now she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then in walks Roxanna trying to look nonchalant. I asked that Connie or Mary let Yuli know that none of this is her fault. Then I get an intercom call to let me know the cab is already here. Not rushing me out are you Ms. Payne? I stated "Dang, what's with the pushing me out the door routine? and I was instructed to hurry. The Nerve. I tell them that if they wanted me out badly they could just come to the room with a trolley and help me load up my things. They tell me to go to the kitchen and get one to which I reply "You want me out now then send the cabby back to tote the bags for me". And then I take my time bagging up my things, requesting the return of my mace and pocketknife from the manager's office when I get done and before I go out the door. I also state that I want my house duty money too. Ms. Katie and Ms. Marie say they'll take care of that and I tell Ms Marie that I'm really gonna miss her. Well, Ms. Roxanna starts picking up my bags and heads for the door when she gets the SNAP, the BARK, and the POINT that came from me when I tell her to get her hands off my bags and just sit and wait like a good girl. Wow, what big eyes you have Ms. Roxanna giggle giggle!! Katie and Analy come with the dolly and we load up and run laughing down the hallway. But not before I give Analy "Reflections" and she and Katie study it. I couldn't help but laugh at how these two small smiling women had no idea what Ms. Payne had just done. When we get to the manager's office Ms.Sandra has my donation referral form ready but she can't find my mace and knife that she knows was just here a minute ago. Fucking Payne in my ass!!! Well, we get to the double doors and help the cabby load the trunk. Then it's hugs and goodbyes, even Roxanna.. The cabby verifies out destination and we head down the road. I call PATH the second time as the first time was from my room at the shelter. I leave another message for Maricela Hernandes about the "move" and that I'd appreciate a callback regarding my appointment on Monday. I call Centro Med to make sure I can still come in for my dental on Thursday and I get the okay for up to two years. I call Kim Salazar, legal advocate at the shelter and leave a message regarding my divorce via Legal Aid. All this accomplished by three forty eight and three fifty one pm. Phew. Hey, if you're about to get your ass put on the street and you have the means to put your ducks in a row then go for it I say. And good thing, because when we arrive at THE SALVATION ARMY HOPE CENTER and I go in to verify that this is indeed where I'm supposed to be I remember saying to the cabby that it's Ms. Payne's dime so let her pay for the wait. The two young ladies behind the glass window were perplexed. One, they had no beds and Two, NOBOBY from BWCS had bothered to call them today about my coming, NOBODY. Then they spent the remainder of an hour trying to get Ms. Bobbi Payne on the line. I believe their words wer "Who is this woman and it's time to let her know she most certainly has no say at the Hope Center regarding referrals". At four after four pm I tried path AGAIN since Maricela said to call her if anything like this happened and they would see what they could do to help me out. Left another message.; that Ms. Payne had just put me on the street with all my belongings. The cabby comes in and I tell him he should cover his ass and make a call regarding the return trip to BWCS. Hey, he's a nice man who stayed with me to the end. He was told absolutely not to return with me. We unloaded the trunk and he reluctantly drove away but not before giving me the phone number to BWCS. At six after four I called BWCS to thank Ms. Payne for giving me tow options, to go home to my abuser and live on the street. I then placed a call to 911 at nine after four. An office was dispatched. I called FVPS,Inc. at twelve after four and left a message (I did mention that it was Veterans Day and Friday right?) of what Ms. Payne had done to me and several other women today. Then I placed six call to 411 and got the numbers of several local news stations and only one KABB TV had someone actually answering the phones. What a lazy city this retired military town is. I have since emailed my information to these stations but apparently a lying wheelchair bound woman screaming rape over a bad date is more interesting. The last 411 call was placed at four fifty six pm. That was when the two San Antonio Police Officers arrived to tell me that I had two options other than home or the street. Can you guess what they were? That's correct, the BWCS or The Salvation Army! That's when one of the young ladies came out of the Hope Center to tell me that a family was leaving right now and I could use their spot until a single spot opened up. The Officers looked relieved and they left, wishing me good luck. A very nice young boy helped me get my things inside and into the lobby and that's where me and my belongings sat. At five thirty five I was sent to the cafeteria and then it was back to the lobby. I decided it was time to write it all down. At six fifteen I was given a double bed, some sheets and an armiore (this was where a family of six had been staying). And then I went outside and I cried. At six thirty five pm I called my son and lucky me, he was home and on his way to get me. By six forty four pm I had informed the Birds of what had transpired. I asked that Ms. Katie be informed as I felt that she and Analy had no idea of what that monster was doing to the women she tossed out today. At seven twenty pm my son picks me up and takes me home with him. The last call made that night between me and the other Birds was at nine fifty one pm. At nine fifty two am the calls continued all through the weekend until eight after two on Sunday November 13,2011. I called PATH on Monday as Maricela had left a voicemail about my appointment. No mention of a place to stay or any type of acknowledgement about what had happened to me over the weekend. When I mentioned what Ms. Payne had done to me, she had only to say that i didn't qualify for Safe Havenbut that the mental health evaluation and clinic placement was still an option for me. Oh goody!! Are you feeling doubtful of this community link or links? I know I am. Which is why I placed over six hours worth of calls and callbacks, messages and such throughout one stressful weekend. I weekend that only comes around once every one hundred years. I have little faith in FVPS, Inc., only a miniscule amount of faith in PATH. I harbor no love for BWCS. I'm waiting to see when my son is going to ask me to leave what with statements like "Hey mom, have to talked to your sister Michelle yet?" and "Well, let's see whether your still here then." It was him asking just such a question that prompted me to call the sister in law who on facebook was desperate to see me this weekend but never called. I got my little brother Drew. He was going to try to get ahold of Michelle for me and I told him I would send her an email and see what comes back. I'm not going to hold my breath you dig? Maybe somebody who says they can help actually does have a spot for me but if not, it's all good. The library is coold and the bloodbanks are a nice little bank for spending money. There's twenty four hour restaurants that also some in handy and I could try Haven for Hope but I'll leave that for way way way last. Eventually, I'm gonna have to stop writing and get myself a job of some kind. One that won't fire me over all the docoor, dental and psych appointments I already have set in place.I'll think of something, even if it's a tent and the KOA. It's just a bit disheartening when you get the felling you're not wanted, except by the freak you just left behind because you couldn't take anymore of that bullshit and abuse. What I'm getting here is a bunch of "I want to help" and "Lett me know what I can do" but in all actuality, no one really wants to give up a space for you and the problems you bring with you. And the one's who really want to help are states away and you have no cash and neither do they. Sniff sniff. Well squish squish darling, get over it. Half a century old and tough as nails with big brassy balls to boot. It could be enough to make me stop helping those that are near and dear BUT I WON'T EVER DO THAT because it's just not in me to do that. I will continue to address the real issues that brought me to this spot, the issues that put the pen in my hand to start with. That being the loss of Freedom of Speech due to fear of retaliation at a shelter designed to keep you safe from your attacker but instead locks you in with animals that you have to share a space with and Staffers who prey on the helpless. People like Bobbi Payne and Alejandro, people like Roxanna and Zulinette and Michelle I'm so sexy. People like Victor. These people who know you're fractured, who have wives outside the shelter but still enter certain rooms and stay for twenty minutes or so on the pretense of changing out a filter. Who sit out on the docks smoking cigarettes instead of keeping a group of adolescent boys in check over the raging hormones. People who flaunt their positions like a whip just because you have the nerve to voice the way you think things should be. A place where there is no news, no television, no link with the outside world but a broken phone in the hallway outside the manager's office. These types of institutions don't start out this way. They are gradually turned into pits by the staff who works there and the supervisors who run them into the ground. Such a pity and what a waste. I'm sure Ms Coleman would be appalled at how run down things have gotten but since I don't know her I can't really say. I do know that anyone who spent as much time as she did putting her dream together and then trusting it to a Director such as Bobbi Payne would be most unhappy at what was going on there now. I am going to go by FVPS and see if there is anyone there who might like to hear what I have to say. It worked for Seriah and she got an apology out of it. She doesn't plan to go back. I may have to if things out here keep hanging and blowing in the wind and going HOME is just not worth reversing everything I've changed. Put your hands together and let us pray on it.