A Sheltered Life Chapter 10

A DUMMIES GUIDE TO SHELTER LIFE OR DON'T BE THAT GUY!

I mentioned in passing during a comedy filled discussion with the KNB's that there was no handbook for communal living. I said I would be open to taking suggestions from the residents in that regard and that they could slip these suggestions into my locker. I would then form a panel and we would discuss how best to handle these given situations. Of course I did say that each solution would have to be taken as the comedic antidote that it would no doubt be conveyed but that there would still have to be a grain of seriousness involved. Hmmmm...a handbook or Dummies Guide for Communal Life was one title. Another was Shelter Rules, the ABC's of Communal Living. There was also How to Live with Dozens. It went on for quite some time and the laughter had some of us wetting pants or clinching our sides, tears rolling down our cheeks. At this point we had an entire mob offering suggestions as to title and contents and were thoroughly enjoying the moment.
One of the most important contents of the Dummies Guide, it was a mass agreement, was the inclusion of The Serenity Prayer. This beautiful prayer was written by renowned theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in 1943.
The Serenity Prayer goes like this --
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

But did you know the original "Serenity Prayer" was conceived in a little stone cottage in Heath, Massachusetts by Reinhold Niebuhr and, per his daughter, was written like this:

"God, Give us the grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed, Courage
to change the things which should be changed,
And the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

The first version I mentioned was Adapted by AA and has since become part of it's fabric.

Well, later that evening as I was drifting off to sleep I had a vision if you will of my spiral notebook being passed around the shelter residents. It didn't have my name on it but it was clear to all of the women that It was Mine, the one I was thinking of naming A Sheltered Life. The next day I asked God if he was prodding me. If this was my life's plan. The Spiral didn't have a name on it though but I clearly SAW it being passed from one group of women to the next, in secret, just like the underground newspaper that Mary Hall and I joked about that evening in the dining room before the crowd of comics joined in on all the jocularity. There's a reason my caseworker happened to have writing paper to give me at our last meeting. She encourages expression in any form. And there is a reason these things are spilling out of me. I know one thing, I'm gonna start painting and drawing again, put the ARTS back into my life. I'm feeling better than I have for a long time and my future and my goals will be reached. And so the blogging began, the tweets ran rampant, the status updates and the posts flew from my head to my hands to the web. Damn the torpedoes and full steam ahead.
But not underground, hell no. Out in the open for me.

I've got a whole stage production in my head about the shelter, all of it taking place in the dining room late at night. I even have the beginnings of the soundtrack in there. One night, I actually drew the 'stage' and started the script of what was actually coming out of the mouths of these women. I am going to take a date and page from my random notes spiral and share how my mind wraps around things.
10/15 @ 5:55pm Observation:
I've noticed that some of these women are control freaks...especially with their boys. Maybe it's transference? Wow, I thought I was bad!! Then there are the girls who traipse behind their Moms, little mini-Me's if you will, dressed like little Barbies right down to the high heels. While they are all skinny, the boys are all fat or the opposite. Then one sibling, usually the sister, takes great joy in annoying the crap out of the brother and EVERYONE else around them just to get attention, negative as it is. This behavior is almost never addressed.

I spend a lot of my time with reading material or drawing paper in an effort to block out the intrusion...yes intrusion for if never addressed or corrected then the term is justified.

Why must you do your hair in the eating area? So f-king gross.

Still the cell phone goes off... still ignoring all calls and all outside problems because there's NO ONE more important than ME right now.

Who picks a fight with a five year old? The mother of a 17 year old involved with a 15 year old, that's who!!

On a positive note...I played pirate with two little boys today and we found treasure ($.30) when we abandoned ship due to yellow jackets. It was so much fun watching them smile and laugh. Thank You God for the children.

My day was so full of sunshine & fun and yet I feel unrested.

Stolen cell phone/birth certificate & ss cards disappear

Note to self: Buy a phone card & buy the center a new phone please. Keep checking into freelance sites: Sunday paper from the Sisters.

Ask about survival guilt.

I wonder->Rules are made to be broken...Rules are made...to be continued.

My mug walks off... on it's own. I guess some
one needed Joy in their life, haha!

Wow, a harvest moon tonight. Que Bonita. sad that I have to tell folks that I need Peace & Quiet time (the book in my face should be a clue)Some alone time would be great. Soon it will be mine but I will have to work hard to get my head on straight.

I feel like an intruder and I'm not doing a very good job "not judging" people. But I have noticed that my findings are pretty spot on so far.

10:52 pm One little flashing red light has sent these women into a panic, even though it's been flashing since lunchtime. Cesspools & septic tanks, aren't the funny for drama!!

Someone stole another phone charger.

The squeeky wheel<->"I guess no one cleaned the dining room today huh?"
The oil<->"Oh, it's been cleaned all day until after snacktime."
The squeeky wheel, who just earlier had left her napkin full of popcorn on the table while her tablemates spilled cup-o-soup all over it, snatches up the napkin, leaves her chair out and then moves to another table and repeats the same table manners.
The oil puts her feet up and writes down the incident and giggles, then continues to read her murder mystery!! :)

"Ear plugs and Eye Mask are a must"
<->
enter center stage in her cute little pink robe that rises up in the back-Way too short and SO INSECURE, always on the phone threatening to kick some Bitches ass "I swear to God" dripping off her tongue every few minutes while the Group gets louder with laughter in the front corner table having a grand time sharing food and snacks.
"I'm an educated woman who graduated high school FOR REAL!!!" and "I'm 22 & He's 37 so he won't get me jealous unless he finds someone better than me."and "Don't be writing stuff about me on facebook please, I'm a grown woman with two kids, FOR REAL, Please!!" and "Exactly, this little girl needs to grow up, Please, FOR REAL, I Swear to God!!" It's hard to believe that such a quiet girl with a big smile is her daughter. She exits "FOR REAL." Then re-enters in less than 45 seconds to continue the He Say She Say conversation with a New friend to knock the friend she spoke to yesterday-whom she thanked for being such a good friend for letting Her vent with her over the phone. Set the stage in dim lights in back and bright lights in the front.

A box of crayons disappears from the dresser top.

T-shirt "I'm not a lesbian but my girlfriend is"
Ems was here earlier and took HER to the ER because she couldn't breathe. @ 11:55 pm she walks back in with a Dr. Pepper and a smile on her face. Yesterday it was her birthday. Glad she's ok:) Click click what a big shot in the ass You got there but the better to breathe and keep you near My Dear.

"No, you can't have a light because you're gay" said the woman in the wheelchair to the Russian woman in Red, the mother of two with one on the way who's just trying to get back home to Big Mama & eat some lovely collard greens.

finished The Invisible Cord, sad happy

re-entering again "...a retired Vet with a history of domestic violence. He asked me Why aren't you working instead of going to school?" "When the police came, he was so jealous." "I broke the laptop, I broke the TV." "Nobody will believe that I was the cause because I am so beautiful and I have a baby with him." "My Mom said why would he do that to you, bring another woman into your house?" " And he had the nerve to only give me thirty dollars for my baby (She has two children and is pregnant) so I was so shocked." " He left his first wife and he sold everything and left her with three kids..." She exits-the back of the robe swaying and clickety click of the heeled backless slides.
U R A FOOL and this Victor gets the cream.

The Lord has Angels everywhere...they glow you know.

Mann macht und Gott lacht
Yiddish expression->Man makes plans and God laughs.

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero/Seize the day trusting as little as possible in the future

research books on composing a screenplay, this place is gold

end day

I have pages and pages of stuff like that. Random thoughts. Notes jotted down as things happened. The last time I saw the BIRDS we discussed doing Mock-You Dramas of the different 'characters' we came into contact with in the shelter. The place really is pure soap opera gold. It's a shame a reality show can't be shot in a place such as this, man the ratings would go through the roof. Move over Jersey Shore here come The Real Battered Women of San Antonio, available in SAP, lol!!

Of course there is no Dummies Guide, there can't be. Logic, courtesy and respect are the only tools you need in a shelter. Pack the self centered attitudes away. Dust off the common sense and let the rules of right and wrong be your guides. Laziness must die and rolling up the sleeves to dive in and lend a hand move to the front of the class. Go to the programs, classes and support groups and open your ears. It might open your mind. And if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all (just right it down in a spiral notebook, journal or what have you and keep it to yourself then laugh about it later or turn it into a blog or screenplayl). Stand up for the Right things and leave the nasty in the trash. Remember that sharing is caring. And read everything, signs, posters, memos, handouts, rules, guidelines...EVERYTHING. Jot down dates and times, keeping as accurate a record of your schedule as you can, this is important because you won't have technology to rely on all the time. And by all means go outside the shelter as much as possible to get News and World events because it WILL NOT be provided for you in the shelter. If you come to the shelter with a laptop, make sure you tell them it's for school, work or work search related purposes and get a letter of authorization if you can (although there wasn't one at the shelter just like there wasn't a posted or written rule regarding pictures). Guard your things because no one else will and it's not fair to expect them to, it's your stuff so YOU watch it!! Always get a locker and keep medicines of all kind and valuables in it, this is a must. Wash your hands ALOT!!!!!!
Stay away from the Milk and Juice jugs unless you were there when they were opened. Get yourself a cup of your own to use, trust me on that one. And remember that you have to share the bathrooms so try not to leave piss or shit in them, um kay. Be polite, smile as much as possible and Be Grateful for what you have instead of griping about the things you don't. You're in a shelter for cripes sake, Shesh!!! :)

That's it, that's all I have for now. It's Thanksgiving and I feel a need to watch some Doctor Who Classics so I bid you adieu.